It's taken me quite awhile to find the words to capture what the first semester of my second year was like. Part of me felt disheartened that I didn't feel the need to write down every thought and feeling I was experiencing like I had last year. But that also shows that I have grown since my first days when everything felt so new and so different that I didn't know how to tackle it without capturing it in words.
The newness of graduate school has worn away as has much of the anxiety which allows for the utter joy of what I do to come through. My first assignment of the year began the week after classes began which was assistant stage managing a show called Owners at Yale Rep. Working at the Rep is a big deal in any department and in particular for the artistic teams. As ASMs, we are supporting a stage manager who will be using this production as their thesis--both a presentation of the skills that they have accumulated over 3 years and also a time capsule for years to come of a show where many will earn their Equity cards and have intense, unique memories. Our work is not just for us and the production but it's for them too.
Our show wasn't without its challenges. I fondly refer to it as an underestimated show in terms of its size because it was actually much more intricate and laborious than many of us realized at the beginning. Utilizing two turn tables which resulted in 10 different locations, 6 actors, 3-5 costume changes per actor, and more than a handful of props, Owners became the show I never predicted would be my biggest accomplishment to date.
Rehearsals were exhilarating because of their complexity. Replicating turn tables in a rehearsal room that must be restored at the end of each night was impractical so our fantastic technical direction team built us walls that we could move freely to represent each location. Set up took half an hour, breaks were spent quickly changing out furniture, walls, and props, and tear down each night took an hour because of how tightly packed our storage area was. It took true team work to have the rehearsal run smoothly because it was too time intensive for one person to move everything so my stage manager and I each took responsibility of one turn table. The cast was generous with assisting in resetting props if they knew their placement. The director was incredibly patient when a particular location took longer to set. And visitors quickly learned the transitions and were invaluable during run throughs when locations were changing every 10-15 minutes. I cannot say how helpful it was to feel the support of the whole team and to know that we were all collaborating to replicate what the true show would look like in the theatre as best we could in a rehearsal room. Rehearsals felt like tech because of the amount of action happening every minute but as tech is usually my favorite part of a process, I felt quite at home. I also managed to lose about 8 pounds because I literally got too excited or caught up in rehearsal to eat on a regular basis. There's always one casualty during a show.
Tech was big. And hard. And completely exercised every bit of our artistic and management brains. From the stage carpenter who was always looking out for the safety of the company when it came to rotating the turn tables to my stage manager who was keeping everyone on track and moving us forward while negotiating the logistics of making this world come to life. I was so pleased and proud on opening night knowing of the stressful moments we experienced but also the fun we had backstage and the bonding moments we experienced getting the show to its well deserved opening.
Owners taught me a lot. And I think the biggest lesson I learned is that I can still fall in love with a production without actually being in love with the show itself. By this I mean that I loved the company, the scene changes, the team, the energy put into it, and the incredible work that was done on the show but I never actually loved the play itself. Even on closing night, the script still didn't resonate with me. But that was the most valuable lesson to learn because you're never going to get your ideal job every time you are looking for one and you have to be disciplined enough to love your job to the point that it doesn't matter what the project is. The people and the experiences are really what matter in the end.
Owners took up most of my first semester so by the time I re-entered the world, it almost shocked me that there was only a month left. It's bizarre how much the world goes by when you're so wrapped up in a project that you forget anything else truly exists. I closed out the last month of the semester with dinners with friends, ushering the next show at Yale Rep, and jumping right into my next project. Hedda Gabler is now 2 weeks from tech and I can tell this one is going to be one of my favorites.
Grad school is already halfway done as hard as that is to believe. I don't know how I will feel when it's actually over but for now I'm grateful for the the classmates who are like siblings, for shows that push me, and for the people in my life who aren't physically with me but continue to know and love me anyway. As I prepare cover letters and resumes for summer jobs, I find myself nostalgic for my past and the jobs I've held previously. Tonight I came across some recommendation letters written by people whom I hold very close to my heart. And still every time I read them I am amazed how their letters capture how well they truly know me. It's a gift to have people like that in your life. They are the same people I turn to when I need advice, a reference for a job, or someone to remind me of where I came from. I am in the process of applying for dream jobs for the summer but I never forget how much the people and the jobs that came before mean to me and how they shaped where I am now.
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