Clearly keeping up with these blog posts fell away as Romeo and Juliet took over so here is a recap of the past 3 months:
ROMEO AND JULIET
Romeo and Juliet was the hardest show experience I'd had but one of the most rewarding. I hadn't realized how taxing it was to stage manage a show without having an ASM present in the room full time, how even a (comparatively) short rehearsal day could put me over the edge, and the extent to which it would test how much I loved my job. There were days when I felt as if I couldn't handle the stress and had the petrifying thought that I was investing so much time and energy into a career that wasn't going to make me happy. I enjoyed the people I was working with and I enjoyed the show in general but I had to dig deeper. I had the find ways to make it work when I wasn't loving it as much and to bring up strength in myself when I didn't have anyone else to lean on.
Tech hit at the exact right moment for the production. The cast was ready to experience a new atmosphere and I was desperate to reach a place where I felt more comfortable. Tech has always been the place where I could truly show what I could do. So I prepared as best I could with run sheets, nervous to turn them over to my supervisor who was familiar with the show but hadn't been present for most of the rehearsals. I prepared my book. I had conversations with the designers. We had a game plan, knowing we had limited time to complete this massive feat of teching this show, and we dove in head first.
The first day we hit our mark and were all pretty thrilled. However the second day we ran into the typical SRP problem--balancing between moving quickly and stopping to perfect the looks. With a show full of transitions, it was a very difficult balance. I began to question whether I had made the right decision to push us through the show instead of letting the director and designers work out the stage pictures together. The following day was the most rough as we hit a point where we didn't quite know what the show looked like but also didn't have much time to go back and change anything. In the end it turned out that I was correct in pushing us forward because by the time we hit final dress, we still hadn't fully completed teching the show. I was still ridden with guilt that the show had major design holes that, given more time or perhaps a better managed schedule, the designer and the director could have worked out but we were very limited in the time we were given.
Performances were odd as I never called the same show twice. Lighting cues were changed every day and I never felt completely secure in my call of it. Every day was an adventure and although I thrive on the "throw me in and hope I float" method, I was concerned for the actors who counted on consistency out there. Regardless, we got through the performances with no major catastrophes and 1 week after we began tech, the show was struck and we were done.
Was R+J easy? No. But was it worth it? Completely and entirely. Suddenly everything else in stage management felt so much easier. Every time I thought of upcoming tasks for my next show, they were much less daunting than they had been previously. It was my own little test of strength and will power, a marker for how much I could handle. I strengthened friendships, gained others, and found appreciation for the tiniest things. I can proudly say that I survived my SRP and it made me a better stage manager, no doubt.
Since that time, much has happened. I have a new baby cousin, Skylar Evan Jones, and I am completely in love with him. I am also employed for the summer--working my (current) dream job as a production assistant at the Goodspeed Opera House on Hello Dolly. I will be in residence, living on their "campus" for the summer, and given a 2 week break in the middle. I couldn't imagine a more ideal situation. I know very little other than that which, for once, is awesome. I'll come in ready and eager to take on any challenge.
I also went home during spring break for my grandmother's memorial. It was a much needed and appreciated trip home. After the challenge of R+J, I needed to get home to remind myself of everything I was and used to be. In a way, I used it to help redefine myself. Being around my family grounds me in the best way possible--it's nice to be around people who think you are just doing the most wonderful things which is easy to forget when you're living it every day. It's important to take time to remember where I am, why I'm doing what I'm doing, and to enjoy as I go along. I saw my best friend which was extremely necessary, my mentor, and Sean, who continues to be an important staple in my life. Seeing them just reminded me of where I came from and how I want to make them proud. But most importantly I came home to say goodbye to my grandma. It was a completely wonderful celebration at home--just remembering her life, how much we loved her and how much she loved us.
HOUSE BEAST
Upon returning to New Haven, I dove right into working on the Carlotta Festival of New Plays. House Beast is the name of our show. This is a show that has truly proven how much stronger I am as a SM than I was at the beginning of the year and also how much more I have to grow. There are many props that get thrown around, tossed, dumped, and generally scattered everywhere. I learned very early on that I needed to pay attention vigilantly so that I could reset them whenever we needed to go back and work on a section of a scene. It's a daily challenge but I can see how much better I am than I was at the beginning of the year. I have more of a voice in the room and in the process than I had before, my confidence is higher, and I truly let myself enjoy this process. It was definitely challenging (I nicknamed us "Homecoming Queen of the Carlotta Festival" facetiously because our production meetings were always the longest and difficult of the festival) but I never really fell away from the love of my job. Maybe it was the people I was working with, maybe it was finally feeling like I knew what I was doing, but I have embraced every challenge head on with a better attitude than I've had all year. Many script changes, many prop breakages, many crazy requests, but it hasn't overwhelmed me like I had expected. We are currently in tech for this show and although the school year is wearing on me, I still am excited to see what this show will look like when it's all pulled together!
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