Before you do anything monumental, people will usually give you some perspective to prepare you ahead of time. When it comes to graduate schools you are generally told how difficult but how rewarding it is. And I don't think that concept really sinks in until you get here.
To recap, I am now officially in the swing of Sunday in the Park with George rehearsals.
This is the hardest and the best thing I've ever done. When you're literally working on something from 9:00 am until 10:00/11:00/12:00 at night and then trying to find time to do homework, it's hard. When you're trying to do everything right but you are still learning and need to allow yourself the chance to do that, it's hard. When you are used to doing something a certain way and you're taking some risks to try something new, it's hard.
This has been two weeks of challenges. I've moved beyond the newness of living in Connecticut (and I experienced my first snow! Like 8 inches worth) and even the unfamiliarity of YSD in general but now that I am officially beginning my training as a YSD stage manager, I am presented with a whole new list of challenges. It's a constant fluctuating scale of playing catch up, feeling settled, and trying to anticipate what's coming next. There have been a few difficult days where I couldn't even pinpoint why I was feeling so down but those have eased themselves into a more normal routine. We are about to begin day 5 of rehearsal and I'm feeling better and more confident about my style and what I'm learning. Every day is a learning experience. I take my negative experiences from the previous day and turn them into a more positive and beneficial for the next day. The good thing is that I generally don't make the same mistake twice--and if I do, then I solve it with a post it. That's one thing I've learned--I thought I loved post it notes and flags before this show but my love for them now is unprecedented. They solve so many problems!
But on the other hand, no matter how difficult some moments can get, I actually can tell that I've grown up in the past year. I don't let the mistakes bother me; I take them as they are, learn, and move on. And the next day always gets better because as I fall into a routine, I am more comfortable and confident with our process.
I also experienced something very special with this cast. On the first day of staging I subbed for an actor who was out of the room. The director was playing around with a concept for the prologue and gave us a little direction and then wanted to see what would happen. I followed the general atmosphere and moves of the company, a little unsure of what I was doing since I like very clear directions especially when out of my comfort zone. We were crossing in space and I noticed the company pausing so I followed suit. When I turned to glance around the space, I felt this incredible energy and connection amongst us. Now I've had my fair share of beautiful rehearsals and witnessed incredible connections onstage but I've never experienced one so natural myself. It was a special moment and I'm glad that I was onstage for that moment.
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